Something I like *may contain spoilers*

So.... tonight I was feeling a bit crummy, so to get myself out of that feeling (while walking to Coffee House, it was AWESOME) I decided to think about things in life I enjoy; which is a lot more pleasant than my usual walking-inner dialogue.
And, these thoughts of what make me enjoy my life lead me to this one video game. I know it sounds a bit sketchy and pathetic; a video game is one of her favourite things in life?! But the game was written better than most movies and is part of a long-standing little-known series called Shin Megami Tensei. This game more specifically is called Digital Devil Saga.

The website I am a part of (D3, if you look at my links) is about Shin Megami Tensei, and one of my first writing assignments was to write up character sketches(both spoiler, and general) for Digital Devil Saga 2. Which is why I appreciate the game so much.

I figured I would use this blog as an outlet to discuss why it is so great, and since the game is in two parts, I'mma seperate this blog into two parts and then all will rejoice.
The game starts in the "Junkyard", you are just to accept everything around you. There has also been this great light shawn out of the center of the Junkyard that has mutated you and given you the ability to transform into demons, sometimes uncontrollably)And there are many tribes(they arn't tribal, they're just called tribes) in this junkyard and you've just been told that the tribes are to wage war against eachother and whoever is victorious shall ascend to Nirvana. You must also climb a tower and bring with you a girl named Sera.

Your tribe,Embryon,(there are actually a lot more people mentioned but this is your party) consists of:
Serph (leader,protagonist of the game, and all aroudn good guy);
Heat (a bit of a loner, and is quick to anger);
Argilla (Female member of tribe);
Gale (Team's Strategist, absolutely no personality, thought proccess is comparable to a computer)

Now The first section of the game there isn't much to talk about, just you battle the tribes, some you learn from and consider 'comrades'; which becomes somewhat of a key term as our protagonists deal with their new situation. The lack of much to talk about is because the first game really just sets you up for the second game. But here are some point plots:
You defeat various tribes;

You become side-tracked and enter this old amusement-type-fairy-tale-interactive land that tell you the story of a fair princess (who looks a lot like the character Sera, who is with your party for most of the game) who had two princess who both loved her, a light prince and a dark prince who both loved her very much but in the end there was a great tragedy. The story becomes distorted towards the end to not reveal the ending of the game;
Gale slowly becomes less computer like and more emotive;
The game ends by reaching the top of the tower and fighting the final boss and the world falls apart, leaving you thinking 'wtf?';
You go out and buy the sequel. Hahaha, Im soooooooooooooooooo funny. O_o

I know this blog is a bit lacking of how awesome this game is, more so just plot points.... but the awesomeness of the game comes in next post promise.

PS: As a teaser, I've played the game through more than once and watched many cinematics (man I gots to watch that again) via you-tube. And, seriously, I still am finding out new hidden messages, images and more about the story. I also dedicated a lot of my summer with a friend(owner and admin of D3) to uncovering secret stuff. I swear it's the fight club of video games! That or....momento (if any of you remember that movie)

Song Lyrics - Dance kitty

This is a song I wrote a loooooooooooooooooong while back, like grade ten back. It's a bit on the light-hearted side I suppose, umm....It started out as an innocent enough song I sang to my cat. I don't have my cat anymore. But the song some how ended up as a metaphor using beastiality...... haha.. It's what I'd define as a pop-metal song, in the sense that more lines and sung cheery and boppy, while a few lines are screamed (I'll bold the screamed lines).
And so you can't say I didn't warn you:


Walked through the door, what did I see?
My cute little kitty waiting for me.
Soft Silky fur white as the snow,
My lips saying yes, but my hearts saying no.
I look at you, looking at me,
we both knew our love would be.
I still think about the first time we kissed,
Am I just another or will I be missed?
Dance Kitty Dance, Lets have some fun,
Dance Kitty Dance, my pants are undone.

Chorus:
Me and my kitty,
My kitty and me
soon we'll be going down in history.
Startin' in the day,
going all through the night.
who'dve though this'd feel so right!

Verse 2:
Things were getting heavy, what could I say?
I never thought I'd feel this way.
Should I go furhter be a notch in the bed?
I cant think with all this shit in my head!!!!!
Maybe I should just give it a try,
gotta live not cause someday we'll die.
You're lookin' at me, down on my knees
I'm asking wont you hold me, won't you please?
Damn kitty Damn, Im such a disgrace.
Damn kitty Damn, theres cum all other my face!!!

Bridge:
I thought that we'd be together forever,
but it looks like I'm wrong again
so I'm singing this song again.
I thought that you'd finally learnt to love me
but I guess that's my demon not an angel above me.
Now that Im crying you must think I'm some wussy,
but someday you'll love me YOU GOD DAMN PUSSY!

OMWii! :: dromio?

Ok so since you're all nerds like I am you all know that the Wii was released this Sunday and were harder to get ahold than a suiting analogy when you're half asleep. But me and my brother had a plan set out, where he was going to buy one and we were going to share it (after I paid my half).
But that didn't really happen because he decided not to drive to Kitchener at 4am to be in line for a store opening at 10. Why? Because his girlfriend said she didn't want him waking her up when he left (she doesn't live with us, she just spends a lot of time at our house). So that was very dissappointing, but life goes on.... it's a video game.

Also since I said in my last post I would also include Dromio into the post here it is. In Drama I'm doing a scene with Jalyssa Steinmen from Shakespere's Comedy of Errors. And really, Shakespere has never been that interesting to me (except for this year with Hamlet, Mr. C'vetich). But doing this scene, I'm having so much fun with Jalyssa and we're really making it our own and it's so weird because lately when we've been running through our lines it's been coming so natural to me that I forget I'm doing a scene and then with the realization that it is a scene I just think to myself "Oh crap, whats my next line."
Another thing that makes this scene so much fun is that we arn't given info about our characters, and our scene in particular isn't a famous shakespere scene (nor are they famous players) so we get to invent them based off the 30-40 lines.
And I never appreciated how free people actually are in directing Shakespere plays, and it's been a neat experience....
except the lines I say are so untolerably mean, and when me and Jalyssa were going over the "script" then first couple tiems to figure out what we were saying, we both knew what my character had said but none of us wanted to say what we thought because it was so mean!
Like my first line is:
Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench, and all grease! And I know not what use to put her too than to make a lamp of her. I warrant her rags and the tallow in them could burn a poland winter! If she lives til doomsday she'll burn a week longer than the whole world!"

What I'm saying (if it isnt clear):
Dude shes lower class and very dirty. I could make her into an oil lamp due to all the grease n her. He clothes and the grease in her clothes would make a winter in poland seem awkwardly hot. The oil on her would burn a week longer than the world.


So thats all I have to say about that.

The importance of Being Friday

Ok so I feel like I have a lot to say, so I'm just going to go for it.
On the bus today I was having girl-cramps and a concerned male friend asked me why I was hunched over and Im all like "long story short, I have cramps." and then she said "oh you should try peptol bismol for that" and Im like "thats for stomachs, this isn't my stomach" and then asked what kindve cramps they are and then I said that they were 'girl-part cramps' and hes like "OMGosh! those can get crampt, weird"
and For the rest of the day he gave me such an odd look whenever he saw and he told me on numerous occasions how he finds it so odd knowing that Im in pain cuzza that but that I'm acting all cool.
Then then we were at the play and a older female character was played by a guy and it was so funny because it reminded me of Scott Thompson (from kids in the hall) impersonation of the queen of england.
Also there's this one small part in the play when two characters are talking, the play was called the "The Importance of being Earnest" and the two character dont really like eachother and ones from the city (Gwendelline) and ones from the country (cecil) and they're where Cecil lives and this is how their convo goes like this:

Gwendelline: My you have a lot of flowers here in the country
Cecil: My yes they're quite common here as people in the city are common

And it was such a diss to Gwendelline to be called common, given the era.

Ok and today in writer's craft we started poetry so I thought I would include a poem I've written. Except I don't really know if it is a poem or not. Not likely but the most bloody poetic thing to come out of this mind for quite sometime, I'd like to make note that is very much in rough stages of being write.

Long ago the world was young, chicken and man both walked freely about the land.
And if man was hungry he would hunt a chicken for food.
Although the chickens did not appreciate this, they accepted it as the natural order.

Later on, man began to think. He began to realize things he'd never thought before.
If chickens are in a pen they cannot roam so far and will be easier to hunt, so he fenced his brethren up.
The chickens opposed but were soon forced to accept this fate.

The world began to change and man's thoughts revolutionized with that change.
And Man's hunger grew. So he packed his comrades into smaller pen and made them a commodity.
The chickens had to accept this.

The world was still constantly changing, and man thought, perhaps I can make the chickens bigger.
So he began to give his yolkfellow chemicals that made him bigger but caused him great pain.
And the chickens had forgotten what acceptance was.

So when you sit down for your dinner I plea that you say not a prayer for your God. For he is your heavenly father, and as his children it is his divine duty to take care of us, I ask that you pray for the chickens who's only sin was accepting their fate.

Stay Tooned for my Next blog - OMWii: Dromio the eccentric jerk-ass

my Brother

So I thought I would write a blog about my older brother. Why, because he's fairly interesting and he's rather important to me.
Most important person according to this Psychology quiz my friend gave me. But the quiz did have it's flaws.

Her:You see an animal in the woods, what is it?
Me:My dog (he's a toy poodle)
Her:How do you interact with this animal?
Me:I kick it!

The size of your animal represents your aggression and how you interact with it represents how you solve problems.

Anyways that's very much besides the point, and now to the point. Growing up without a father my brother pretty much took on that role from a very young age. Not in some creepy incestuous way, but I mean in the sense that he looks out for me, and has my best interest. But when it gets right down to it, he still is my older brother so he can be a jerk at times. Like how, when I buy soy milk, or really any grocery type food that I don't hide, he's very quick to eat it.

He has had a fairly rocky life. Dropped out of highschool, twice. He was very heavily into drugs at one point, but even then he was still looking out for me. For example, like most people involved in the drug scene he -loved- to tell stories about what he was on and what he did and to glorify the chemical-life. But even in his altered state of mind, after telling me these stories he would also tell me the downside to them, like how his short-term memory is horrible. Also, he isn't like that anymore.

Also, I guess I've played the role of the missing parent for him too, but to a different extent, I mean I'm so proud of him and how fixed his life. I mean he got his highschool Diploma, and was accepted int UofW for Analytical Psychology. He didn't end up going because He got a job offer to teach English as a Second language in Korea that begins next march but since he has his ESL-teaching degree, and will soon have his working Visa, he's going to move to Japan and work there for a couple monthes teaching privately. Also he's nearly fluent in Japanese, he caught onto the Otaku(nerd who likes japanese stuff) business early on and since he went to Cameron he was able to learn Japanese there, and he took it in night school and on the side.

That's really all I have to say about my brother, I prolly have more to say but I grow weary, if you want to meet him he's currently working at Goco fulltime 9-5 lolz. No seriously, don't. And if you do, don't be all like, "man I read your sister's blog about you," because that would be incredibly awkward.

Rememberance Day

So there is a lot on my mind with rememberance day and I guess you can really sort it into three categories:

1- Losses at W-O:
If someone told me in August that two students who were suposed to be in your graduating class wouldn't be alive for Christmas, there is no way I'd believe them. And although I didn't know either Kyla or Calvin very well I see the impact of their loss at so much it's really too much to handle. And because of it lyrics from Kimya Dawson's the beer have been resonating through my head.

i guess by now you all know my friends danny broke his neck
he was driving home from sirens when he got into a wreck
first i cried for him and then i cried for me
haunted by the ghost of the girl i used to be

2- Grave of the fireflies:
It is a movie produced by a company which is pretty much the Japanese equivalant to Disney. It's a movie that takes place during WW2 Japan and I really like it because it sends a very strong anti-war message that is universal. (Anyone who has taken gr10 history will know that the Japanese were the enemies then.) It is anime, but not the over-the-top colourful stereotypical stuff. It's done in a lot of neautral tones but I think I've droaned on about legits long enough. The story follows two children from the time they become orphans (their mother is severely wounded from a bomb and dies in the hospital). They(Seita:male, age 13-16. Setsuko:female,age 4-5ish?) then move in with their aunt but she's very cruel to them so they move out into an abandoned mine shaft) where Setsuko becomes increasingly sick. The one night they light up the mine shaft by filling it with hundreds of fireflies(but since fireflies only live one night when they wake up the next morning the fireflies are dead) and Setsuko looks up at Seita and asks "Why must fireflies die so young?". Setsuko eventually dies and Seita very much blames himself. In anycase it is an incredibly sad movie and my description does it no justice. I know of two guys who have admittingly cried during it. If you're interested in borrowing it and if you promise not to scratch I would be happy to lend it to you.

3- Current 3rd world Issues:
I mean we look back and see a world history of people suffering, and dying, senselessly and needlessly. With what has happened this year everyone is really in a solumn mood but there are so many people out there who their entire life they've seen friends and family dying, their entire life all they've known is war. I think about how we live their lives in comparason to theirs. And I would really like to know, do they know how much better we live? I mean do they know that we waste away money each and everyday while that money could be used to supply them with food, water and shelter. Seriously, ask yourself: Did I really need that ipod? Did I really need those shoes? that cellphone, new video game? new cd?
The obvious answer is no.

Think of it this way:
30gig ipod(average price from amazon): $320
Shoes (average price from boardzone): $115
Virgin Mobile Cellphone (my receipt) :$100
Video Game (ps2, new, ebgames, FFXII) $50
Cds (in general) :$15
----------------------------------------
Total : $600 (coincidence it came out like that)

And although I can't find the exact prices. I'm sure you all remember the unicef boxes from out Youth. Even one dollar means so much to these children. It's ridiculous. And although I don't own everything on that list, the items that I do own, I enjoy. But I could easily live without them.

Prose - here

Ok so the pending title of this story is called here. I wanted to submit it for the english contest last year but my inspiration did not aline well with the due dates. I was originally going to post this folktale (or yolktale, hardy har) called the chickens but decided it was too essoteric and strange. I was also considering using a story that Im very excited about and is substanially longer than this but it is very much in it's rough stages. Also I apologise for the grammatic and punctuational and spelling errors that will no doubt be in it, I have jst finished rewriting it. (The original hopped around from past to present which I tried to fix in this version and the original was in first person and though some things I liked that you could only get from Sarah's mind, she is a loving, caring etc person so she wouldn't be making the comment made at the begining of the story. Peace.

She had started work at the facilities since the age of eighteen. That was thirty-one years ago, and she had still yet to come to terms with where these 'facilities' are exactly. What she did know however, this place was first established as a safe-haven from crimes against children which had been on the rise since the twenty-first century. Growing up here, was originally just another option for parents who wanted their children to grow up with a guaranteed education, and in a world without crime. Often times the government would send children here, who's parents were deemed unfit to raise said child.
As the times changed, the birth rate increased and more room was needed for children. The government would allocate large grants to continue the prosperity of here. As birth rates continued to steadily climb, the money followed.
To try and stop this epidemic, the government began to make it mandatory for all unmarried women to take birth control. Government funded anti-sex propaganda surfaced, and had spread like wildfire across the nation.
Things still got worse. Despite all efforts, the population continued to spiral out of control. Drastic measures needed to be taken; every child upon birth from that moment on would have certain parts removed so there would no longer be sex, or babies or any of that trouble. Imagine that. What fixes pets, also does wonders for humanity. To be sure the population did not falter over-time, additional grants were awarded to create genetics lab for creating children, and an entire city to house them in. The facilities were soon responsible for every birth in the country. Inconceivable!
Children created in a laboratory had many benefits: diabetes was gone, aids was gone, in fact, all disease was now gone! No child would ever have to grow up sick because their sick parents were irresponsible and reproduced against any logic. Shame.
For the most part the children at the facilities were directed by an omniscient voice that came out of speakers located throughout the facilities. The voice would tell them, when to sleep, when to eat and pretty much whatever the children would need to know.
Occasionally a child will start a fight or refuse to do what the voice tells them. That is where she comes in. Her name is Sarah, she is one of the many care takers who overlook the facilities. When a child does something wrong it is her job intervene to stop it. Then she would need to write a detailed report and send it to the administration. From that point the administration would run a personal history of the child, and the bloodline from which they are from. If the bloodline shows that many of the children from it have had problems then the administration will stop creating children from that bloodline.
Sarah typically looks after children from the ages 5-8 and she loves her job a lot. Watching them innocently amuse themselves for hours on end with some imaginary game, hearing their laughter and watching them grow and develop as humans. It was her one true joy in life.
She is housed here on the premises. Having grown up here, she has been outside these walls only once, and it was brief. It was for her professional training. She has so many fond memories of growing up here, swinging on swings, playing hopscotch and so much more it is likely why she chose to work her in the first place. Excitement.
Today she would be receiving a new child to take care of. A test subject. The lab often sent her test children, they were always trying to create better, stronger, smarter people. But often times their efforts showed no results. This child was however different.
When all the other children were off playing games, he sits quietly. While all the other children were talking during class time, he sits quietly. While all the other kids put up a fuss, not wanting to nap, he was already lying down, sleeping soundly.
Sarah became immensely interested in the child who did not act like one so she wrote up a report for the administration to read, with test subjects, it is required to report more often then with regular children.
Within a few days she received a report from the administration not to worry, and the child is likely just going through an adjustment phase.
Sarah had to accept the report as the truth, since no other truth was made known. Sarah, did not understand this child, she was not entirely sure she liked him either. So the one day while he was sitting quietly and the other children were playing quietly she asked him if he would like to join them. He looked blankly at her for a moment and simply replied with, “if that is what you would like me to do.”
“Shouldn't you want to play, shouldn't all children want to play?” she asked, looking down at him.
“I do not see a need,” he replied. And as Sarah was to make her reply the voice informed her class that it was no longer time to be playing, and it is now time for studying. He was remarkably well at is studies, within a couple of weeks he was at the top of his class, but something in him was missing.
She contacted the administration again, only this time she did it directly. She picked up a telephone and asked the operator to connect her. The people at the other end of the phone sounded very isolated and distant. And when she demanded to know why her new child was acting this way they told her.
They informed her that they had finally mastered obedience on the level of genetics, then continued to tell her that the experiment was a complete success and that all children produced will be like him and she soon wouldn't need to worry about having children who behave badly, are rambunctious, in fact she would never have to worry about a child behaving differently again.
She then hung up the phone and it a numb state of surreality she walked to the park. She sat on the swing and began thinking of the children's laughter would slowly silence until it was a just distant memory that would gradually fade away, she began to feel depressed, and then she wanted to cry. And felt that way for a long time. Everything about being a child would soon be gone, no more games, no more scrapped knees and no more swinging. She wished things could be different, but no one can interfere with the infinite path this world is taking. So she lifted her head up and decided she would have to adapt to this new reality. This world. Progress.

Religion.

All right. I first want to make it clear that this is by no means intended to offend anyone, thank-you. Secondly, I decided to post my beliefs about relgion because most of my blogs thus far have been nothing more than a summary of events, and all in all my life is boring, and there is another reason why I decided religion which I will get to later in my blog.
Or right now. So the other night I'm in Toronto at a friends house and I got seriously and violently sick, and looking back on it now here is what I did to cope with my illness that night:
Vommitted;
repeatedly said "I want to die, just let me die, I want to die just let me die.";
wept like a pathetic child;
traced the head-crotch-shoulder-shoulder crucfix along myself many many times.

And although I'm not Catholic by any stretch of meaning(nor is my family, unless you include Ron, my father, but I don't consider him family.), but whenever I find myself in a tight, stressful or by any means unbearable situation I trace the crosses. Sometimes once (ie there is a never-ending line-up of cars at drive-thru) sometimes repeatidly (the other night).

I do this because its a simple enough movement to do at any given time, and it also uses enough thinking to take your brain away from the moment for a second. I find it really centers me and its makes me feel like everything will be all right and that it will be ok. (Perhaps the feeling is even holy.)

All right, that was a lot of writing for a little bit of info so the rest will be written very quickly. I feel that religion was initially made so people can have a sense of community and a reason to do the right thing.
But with religions with very oposing views kinda ruined that idea.

Personally I believe in what I qwant to call agnostic/divine intent????? I really need to learn the proper name but I believe something had to create everything and I ponder what there couldve possibly been before nothing, what nothing is truly is etc. But then my head hurts because I'm not very smart. I also believe in the big bang and evolution etc. So basically in my belief everybody wins :D

Here are some random QuotationxThoughts I've come up with about religion:
And as it turned out our heavenly father was nothing more than a dead beat dad.
What the fuck are the other animal's doing outside the garden of eden? (eff bomb thrown in because it makes the statment a lot more fun)
Why do people dedicate their entire lives trying to get on a cloud?

And finally. If I were to join a religion I would want to join Bokonism but, it isn't a real religion. Its from a fictional book. Here is some info about it. "The holy scripture of Bokononism was the ever-growing 'Books of Bokonon', written by Bokonon -- a British Episcopalian Negro from the island of Tobago whose real name was Lionel Boyd Johnson [ 48 ] -- as a way to distract the people of San Lorenzo from their pitiful lives. What is sacred to Bokononists? Not God; just one thing: man. [ 94 ]"
Bokonism accepts that religion (including itself) is just a lie and it teaches that the purpose of life is to find a purpose.

Anyways I've droned on for far too long enough. Umm basically any info you could possibly (but won't) want on Bokonism can be found on the site you go to when you click bokonism, or wikipedia, or to see Bokonism in action read Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle. Seriously, do it now.

PS: Finished Johnny Got his Gun and have started Third Rate Superheroes.
PPS: Next blog I'm put something I've written but I can't decide on what. Haha, not like it matters. <3
Ciao.

Mark Haddon: T-dot rocks the T-dot

basically I'm posting form ym friend's residence in toronto, aka tdot.
T-dot is also a nickname of mine, it's a kinda funny story how that happened.

Ashley: Yo T-dot what's up?
Me: Umm... nothing and just because I'm a bit heavier I don't appreciate being compared to toronto!!!
Ashley: lolz kay that's your nickname forever now.


Anyways... it's pretty fun we were in at chapter's tonight and I saw Mark Haddon has a new book out and I had loved reading the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime. And I look forward to it's release, also oddly enough there were NO kurt vonnegut books there. Which I know doesn't sound that shocking, but he's like such a known author and just ugghh.... last year in chicago in virgin records they had abut 10 vonnegut books give or take. So, anyways.
We were in chapters to kill time before we saw a movie. The movie being Death of a President which I supose is a mockumentary(without the humor) aobut Bush's assassignation in 2007, it was done good but I was tired and it was treated like a real event so I was having trouble keeping my head up.

Also I've decided I want to start posting some writing of mine only this blog won't have none. But so I dont forget I want to read(the titles are approximations):
The Boy detective who failed;
A bothersome spot of trouble;
A trime's oddessy;
player piano;
timequake;

And i'm currently reading:
Jonny got his gun;
third class super heroes

ps: I are the enjoy for reading :D

Tower of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM

This tower, friends, country-men and serfs, is not a true tower but a metaphorical one. It is comprised of two pillars, eight hours long, One rises out of the second day, and the Second rises from the fourth. And between the two lay a princess, forever trapt in the manual labour of a part-time job.
Kay....... thats pretty much enough of that. Basically that's pretty much a riddlexmetaphor about how I had to work 8 hours on tuesday and thursday, after school. And don't worry I wouldn't compare myself to a princess, that would be silly.
The princess was *drum roll* the IMPROV COMPETITION last night. Oh man it was so fun, but see when you go to school for lots of hours, and then go to work for 8 hours (I was done at 11, I didn't get home until 11:30. Don't ask why, you don't want to know the answer). And go to school for more hours the next day. (I didn't go to school in the morning however, because well I didn't want to be fallign asleep at the improv competition and I didn't have my english homework done, Hah!) And then _{ppsstt.... I'm changing into first person now} I stayed after school and worked on my homework, yay, and did some final practising with the team before the competition.
Holy crap, the competition was awesome. I had my doubts but everyone really pulled together and the team melded really well together after just a few short weeks and I can't wait to see what we do in March.



P.S I work tonight so, don't go to New Hamburg Tim Horton's I want as little customers as possible.
P.P.S. There is a direct co-relation between going to Toronto and being ridiculously tired. It's a fact, and 30 Helens agree.